March 21, 2009 Welcome to Spring

Praise God, it's Springtime and all will become lush and green and revive our hearts and souls. I need spring to refresh and see all things new again. I believe that God created the seasons to help us understand the season's of our own lives. Even here in Florida, all be it a sutler transition from season to season and it may mean different things to different people, but we need these changes. For me each change is precious and renewing to my soul. While the autumn leaves may fall, it is the crispness of the wind through the trees that calls me to inhale life and all it's goodness and exhale all my stress and frustration. If I am fortunate enough to make a trip north in mid October there awaits breath taking landscapes over ever bluff exploding with color. On a few occasions I have had the opportunity to experience winter with blankets of snow glittering in the moonlight. No snow in Florida, but each season brings it own reward.

I am as corny as they come, planting plants, babying them, watching them mature, producing beautiful flowers and sometimes a tasty treat. I grow pineapples, avocados, tangerines and sometimes I will even plant some seasonal vegetables. I love my flowering plants. I favor planting perennials over the seasonal due to cost and my physical handicapp. While I may pay more for the plant, hopefully it will provide years of enjoyment. I enjoy spending time in my garden, especially when there is butterflies fliting around. My yard and garden has got away from this last several months, my hedges are 7 feet high and the weed population seems to be choking out some of my beloved flowering plants. Hopefully I will be able to get it back undercontrol as I find peace there and a great place to talk to my maker.

I speak of these things in my on going effort to be more positive in my life. So much of the time I feel like I am an 18 wheeler dump truck, loaded to the brim coming in dumping my garbage all over the place. I seem to skip from one crisis to the next, and not things that I have brought upon myself, just life. Oh, I have made some real dumb decisions in my life which cause it's own drama, but I take responsibility for those things. I am talking about real life drama beyond our control, tragic loss of love ones, seriously ill family members, lost love and emence personal struggles. Things that are uncomprehendable seem to weigh a person down and it is only by the grace of God that we survive. While I know that I am not alone, it is still very lonely.

Febbruary 19, 2009 Stay Focused

This has been a trying week to say the least. I took a fall this week while transferring from my desk chair to my wheelchair. I lean on the arm of the wheelchair for stability, however this time the arm snapped and broke, leaving me to plunge to the ground. I felt like a beached whale...not one of my finest moments. My body has not been very forgiving, as my neck and back are killing me.

Yesterday I spent 8 hours in the hospital with my grand daughter who was having abdominal pain. Thankfully she is doing better and no emergency surgery, they thought it was her appendix.

So as I am feeling the mental and physical pain of the week I am searching for meaning in all of this. My pastor says "in everything give thanks". (Yes Ray, I listen you your words of wisdom.) It is hard, it is an effort see the good in our pain and suffering. Tell me what there is to be thankful in this two events? Truthfully, things could have been alot worse, broken bones, cancer, any number of things. We humans are so silly, we bare the burdens, worry ourselves to death and for what. God is in control, and our worries don't change a thing. If we could just stay focused on the Main Thing.....God, not ourselves. Does this mean I have given up worrying? Not a chance, as I am so human it hurts. I am trying to be better, more positive, live life with a purpose, help other and stay focused on the things outside of my head. That is one of the purposes of this blog, admitting the pain, but trying to be more positive about it. You know in the words of Chuck Swindoll, a wise and wonder man of God, Life is 10 % what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Lord give me the wisdom and strenght to react appropriately.

February 13, 2009 Twas the night before Valentines Day

To say I am exhausted is an understatement, and I don't know why. It has been a long week, stress at work, stress at home, stress in the pocket book. My dad became dehydrated and spent the night at Good Samaritan Hospital. The dehydration caused his blood pressure to drop , starving his brain of blood and causing a mini stroke. Thankful, they hydrated him and released him today. What a difference a day can make.

While I am not a believer in Friday the 13th myths, isn't it ironic that Friday the 13th landed the day before Valentine's Day this year. Maybe most won't see the irony, but those of us who are not engaged in a romantic relationship might. I don't mean to be cynical but the day set aside for romance can be quite difficult and dreaded by those of us who are alone, not unlike the ominous dark cloud that hangs over the superstitious on Friday the 13th. Where am I going with this? Well maybe nowhere, I just thought it was an interesting segue to telling you about my 2009 Valentines.

No, there was no romantic interlude, no hot date, no such excitement, but I did receive a beautiful bouquet of roses from Mariana, Colin and Carrie. It made me cry, because I know the sacrifices she made to do something so selfless and thoughtful. God really blessed me big time when he gave me Mariana. Mariana is bright and beautiful, tenacious and driven, but she is also tender, thoughtful, kind and generous to a fault. She has been there for me in the the worst of times and I don't know how I would have survived the last 5 years without her. Please pray for her that God will bless her with abundant love overflowing.

And now, for all those romantically engaged, don't let this moment pass without a thought provoking gesture to your significant other. Don't be fooled by those who say it's just another day, it's not. While we should treat our love ones with random acts of kindness everyday, failure to do so on Valentines is most disappointing. Take if from me, one of the best gifts I ever got was not so much the gift, but the lengths taken, the planning and the execution....THAT WAS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL....it showed my how much he cared.

February 3, 2009 In Everything Give Thanks

Well, here we are already three days into February 2009. Yesterday was my exhusbands 60th birthday. Happy Birthday Bill. I have known Bill for 40 years and he has never been to the doctor. I pray he continues to have a full and heathly life.

Our health is certainly one thing to be happy about. I was listening to the radio last night as I lay waiting to fall asleep. There was a woman making some very important comments on being thankful.....things I could really relate to. For one, while I have a mountain of repairs to do around my house and my yard is looking more like the jungle, I can be thankful I have a home. There are many folks just like me who are unexpectedly homeless. My car the electric window on the drivers side is not working properly and my blinkers seem to be on the "blink", but I do have a car to drive.

And I am sad to say that sometimes I feel very alone, my kids are grown and gone, I find myself divorced, my best friend of 20 years has passed away.....but then I have to remember that while my pool of friends may be small, they are true treasures. My friend Shelley has been coming to the house for over two years now helping me patch drywall and paint and whatever while we spend endless hours baring our souls to one another. My sister Sunny (former sister in law that we adopted) brings sunshine to my should every time she crosses my threshold. My mother and my daughter Mariana are my rocks, they have bolder me up more times that I can count.....So next time we start feeling sorry for ourselves, let try to remember just what treasures we have hear on earth. And don't forget who provides it all for us.....thanks, thanks for everything.

January 28, 2008 Lending a Helping Hand

Today was a long day. It was close for my department at work which is always long and stressful.

I have been thinking about what I want to do with this blog. I was inspired by Chris Fabry from Moody Broadcastings "Chris Fabry Live". I listen to him every day at 3:00PM on WRMB 89.3 locally. He broadcasts from his home in Colrado Springs. I have been a follower of both Chris and his wife Anrea who use to host Mid day conntection, another of my favorite programs. They have 9 children and have been dealing with mold in there home. They have had to move out due to health problems from the mold. I relate well to their situation as I have mold issues and am sure it is what has been causing my increased health issues the past five years.

I want my blog not only to keep family and friends updated, but some how make a difference. Not to focus so much on myself, but being creatively helpful to the reader. I have some crazy ideas.....like being handicapped, in a wheelchair limits my ability to do everything I need done around my house. One might think condo living would be better, but I love my yard and garden. The problem is my yard is out of control due to my limitations. My first crazy thought is, what about those condo dwellers who would love to garden and have no place to do it. Maybe we could have and exchange, I'll provide the yard and the provide the help in gardening. It would solve both of our problems....they do in intercity community gardens!

My next idea is there is alot of other folks out there in my condition and need help. My church is small and don't have the man power to due alot of physical labor ministry to people like myself, however there are folks out there who need to do community service. What if some of those needing community service time could be directed to qualifying folks in need of a helping hand. I know it sounds crazy, but why not?

Oh well, that's my thought for today.

This is all new to me so it is a work in progress. I haven't learned how to move or size pictures yet and I couldn't get back to my copy for editing....like I say it's a learning process.

I certainly didn't want to omit Mariana from my introduction.. Mariana and Colin live in Boynton Beach. Mariana bought a house/villa a couple years back. While it is technically a villa, it is as big as a house...3 bedroom, two bath and nice screened patio. She has decorated it nicely. Mariana works for a law firm whose offices are scheduled to move in the next couple weeks. She will have a four mile journey to her job.....I drive over 16 one way.

Well I guess that is all for now.

January 27, 2009 In the Beginning

'Welcome to my Blog....I am hoping to use this to stay in touch and up to date with my friends and family. I love to write and I love keeping in touch, especially old friends and my family. We'll see how it goes.

Today is Tuesday, January 27, 2009. Hard to believe the first month of 2009 is almost gone. I worked today and came home to an empty house. Carrie is working tonight. Carrie works two jobs, she works the weekends at Gun Club Cafe and twice a week she has a babysitting job. She has more spendable money than me, but that is okay as she now pays her own cell bill....Yeh!

Carrie is doing Florida Virtual School. She has a laptop and can do her school work from anywhere that has internet/broadband capability. She has really grown up.

Jeannine is in town with the Fair. We only see her when the Fair is in town as she works and travels with Wade Shows. She spends her summers in Michigan and the rest of the year the go from town to town. She happy and that is important.