Febbruary 19, 2009 Stay Focused

This has been a trying week to say the least. I took a fall this week while transferring from my desk chair to my wheelchair. I lean on the arm of the wheelchair for stability, however this time the arm snapped and broke, leaving me to plunge to the ground. I felt like a beached whale...not one of my finest moments. My body has not been very forgiving, as my neck and back are killing me.

Yesterday I spent 8 hours in the hospital with my grand daughter who was having abdominal pain. Thankfully she is doing better and no emergency surgery, they thought it was her appendix.

So as I am feeling the mental and physical pain of the week I am searching for meaning in all of this. My pastor says "in everything give thanks". (Yes Ray, I listen you your words of wisdom.) It is hard, it is an effort see the good in our pain and suffering. Tell me what there is to be thankful in this two events? Truthfully, things could have been alot worse, broken bones, cancer, any number of things. We humans are so silly, we bare the burdens, worry ourselves to death and for what. God is in control, and our worries don't change a thing. If we could just stay focused on the Main Thing.....God, not ourselves. Does this mean I have given up worrying? Not a chance, as I am so human it hurts. I am trying to be better, more positive, live life with a purpose, help other and stay focused on the things outside of my head. That is one of the purposes of this blog, admitting the pain, but trying to be more positive about it. You know in the words of Chuck Swindoll, a wise and wonder man of God, Life is 10 % what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Lord give me the wisdom and strenght to react appropriately.

February 13, 2009 Twas the night before Valentines Day

To say I am exhausted is an understatement, and I don't know why. It has been a long week, stress at work, stress at home, stress in the pocket book. My dad became dehydrated and spent the night at Good Samaritan Hospital. The dehydration caused his blood pressure to drop , starving his brain of blood and causing a mini stroke. Thankful, they hydrated him and released him today. What a difference a day can make.

While I am not a believer in Friday the 13th myths, isn't it ironic that Friday the 13th landed the day before Valentine's Day this year. Maybe most won't see the irony, but those of us who are not engaged in a romantic relationship might. I don't mean to be cynical but the day set aside for romance can be quite difficult and dreaded by those of us who are alone, not unlike the ominous dark cloud that hangs over the superstitious on Friday the 13th. Where am I going with this? Well maybe nowhere, I just thought it was an interesting segue to telling you about my 2009 Valentines.

No, there was no romantic interlude, no hot date, no such excitement, but I did receive a beautiful bouquet of roses from Mariana, Colin and Carrie. It made me cry, because I know the sacrifices she made to do something so selfless and thoughtful. God really blessed me big time when he gave me Mariana. Mariana is bright and beautiful, tenacious and driven, but she is also tender, thoughtful, kind and generous to a fault. She has been there for me in the the worst of times and I don't know how I would have survived the last 5 years without her. Please pray for her that God will bless her with abundant love overflowing.

And now, for all those romantically engaged, don't let this moment pass without a thought provoking gesture to your significant other. Don't be fooled by those who say it's just another day, it's not. While we should treat our love ones with random acts of kindness everyday, failure to do so on Valentines is most disappointing. Take if from me, one of the best gifts I ever got was not so much the gift, but the lengths taken, the planning and the execution....THAT WAS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL....it showed my how much he cared.

February 3, 2009 In Everything Give Thanks

Well, here we are already three days into February 2009. Yesterday was my exhusbands 60th birthday. Happy Birthday Bill. I have known Bill for 40 years and he has never been to the doctor. I pray he continues to have a full and heathly life.

Our health is certainly one thing to be happy about. I was listening to the radio last night as I lay waiting to fall asleep. There was a woman making some very important comments on being thankful.....things I could really relate to. For one, while I have a mountain of repairs to do around my house and my yard is looking more like the jungle, I can be thankful I have a home. There are many folks just like me who are unexpectedly homeless. My car the electric window on the drivers side is not working properly and my blinkers seem to be on the "blink", but I do have a car to drive.

And I am sad to say that sometimes I feel very alone, my kids are grown and gone, I find myself divorced, my best friend of 20 years has passed away.....but then I have to remember that while my pool of friends may be small, they are true treasures. My friend Shelley has been coming to the house for over two years now helping me patch drywall and paint and whatever while we spend endless hours baring our souls to one another. My sister Sunny (former sister in law that we adopted) brings sunshine to my should every time she crosses my threshold. My mother and my daughter Mariana are my rocks, they have bolder me up more times that I can count.....So next time we start feeling sorry for ourselves, let try to remember just what treasures we have hear on earth. And don't forget who provides it all for us.....thanks, thanks for everything.